Day’s & more days

All the things I’ve done haunt me. Somewhere between 22 and now something broke. Then mom died I couldn’t even say goodbye.

My children have seen such bad things and they came from my actions.
I can’t fix the past this I know but i’m going to try to make the future better. It’s hard I still miss opis makes me feel so guilty I think i’m actually in love with it.and even consider putting it before my Wife & children or well being.
I’ve seen 5-6 people I was close with 1 being my uncle die from the same monster. It’s the feeling I miss. Everything is wrong, empty feeling and I start sinking.
Today is the worst day I’ve had as far as my seeking no needing to feel something other than this dread & deep depression..

Just wish there was an erase button for life.

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